Sunday, August 7, 2011

Navy SEALs: News I wish I had not heard

News of 22 Navy SEALs being gunned down in Afghanistan is not exactly the kind you want to hear when your boyfriend is about to join the military. In fact, it really just makes me want to smash my parents new TV.
I was actually at Which Wich getting my daily sandwich when I saw it in the New York Times. Thankfully my sandwich was done before I got the chance to read past the title. However, upon arriving at home I was bombarded by the 60 inch TV (which is bombardment enough) and the same news story and this time I could not escape. My heart dropped further when I heard that many of those who died were from the famous SEAL team six that was responsible for taking down Osama Bin Laden. That is probably the hardest part for me. the SEAL team six is supposed to be the best of the best, the strongest the best trained, etc. In truth, I never really paid much attention to the news or stories about the military until this year. I never felt personally affected by it. But now that my love is joining the marines it seems to be almost all that I think about and the stories seem to be everywhere and I cant stop crying when I see the videos on youtube about the soldiers who come home and see their dogs and I refuse to see the movie South Pacific ever again despite its very good show tunes.
So back to my point, this awful, tragic, down right shitty event is kind of making an already hard situation harder. My main concern had always been that I was going to miss him like crazy. But that has a fairly easy fix (join clubs, keep busy, make friends, visit whenever I can write and blog until carpel tunnel kicks in). However, due to recent events, my main concern has obviously shifted. And yes, I know that he will most likely have a desk job due to his many previous injuries, but I also know that when push comes to shove, if they need him to do combat, he's going to do it and it won't matter how much metal he has in him or how many broken bones he has had. Thankfully, I do have a great deal of faith in how our marines are trained... but still, I can't help but be afraid that I might get the news that I will never see his face again. I also worry that the Marines will change him so much that once he gets out he won't even be the same wonderful man that I know now. So I admit it, ok? I'm freaked out! I really want to be able to be that person that is calm no matter what and always has faith that everything will be ok. But just like anyone else, I have worries and doubts and fears. What puzzles me (and scares me) the most is that is totally and completely calm about it. I'm not sure if he's doing it for my sake or if he just really has a lot of faith (in the training or himself or maybe even God) but what I do know is that when he wants something, he goes after it. And I love him too much to stop him. So I guess I just have to toughen up and perhaps stop watching the news and avoid newspapers like the plague.
So yeah, thats all I can think of right now. God bless the SEALs, our troops, the entire military, and if you're out there and if you're listening (I know I haven't been to church in forever) give not only me but anyone who is in this position or a position similar the strength and the love to get throught this.
That's all I've got for today. I'm not going to edit this. I have to go fix my makeup and find more tissues. Enjoy this video. I couldnt finish watching.

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